How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

How to Say No Without Feeling GuiltyWeve all been approached by someone asking for a favor. It could be at work, home, or even out with friends while painting the town red. It usually happens so unexpectedly that we feel pressured and compelled to say yes, regardless of what we currently have on our plate. googletag.cmd.push(function() googletag.display(div-gpt-ad-1467144145037-0) ) Sometimes were happy to help. We like this person and this favor wont interfere with our lives in a significant manner. Other times, even though its notlagelage in our best interest to say yes, we do so anyway because we want to avoid feelingguilty.But why feel guilty?Before we advance to the how, lets look at the why. Its worth deconstructing why we feel guilty for saying no. Guilt is an emotion we feel when we have done something wrong. If youve truly wronged someone, guilt is an appropriate emotional reaction. But saying no is not an example of wronging someone.This person might have to seek alternati ves to your help, but its hardly harmful to their overall well-beingespecially if its a small favor. Saying no puts this person in a position where they simply have to get creative and recalibrate their direction. Besides, its highly unlikely youre this persons only hope.Another reason we feel guilty is because were nervous this person will resent us, or be angry. But this feeling is unreasonable. You need not look any further than yourself. Would you hold a grudge against someone denying you a favor? Most likely not. So, the same standard applies. All this fear of saying no is simply an emotional response to an unlikely reaction by the other party. Logically, it holds no merit.Now that weve dispelled this notion, lets take a closer look at how we can actually say no.1. Offer an alternative solutionSorry, I dont have time to help you with building your titelblatt letter, but heres a link to an article on 5 resume tips to guarantee an interview.Its quick, easy, and you offer the pers on an alternative solution. Just make sure youre doing this to help, not just because you feel guilty.2. Show empathy when saying noYou want to show this person you truly understand their problem, but it simply isnt something you can handle right now.I know you really need someone to take care of your dog while youre on vacation, and you worry he wont get enough exercise, but my job really just takes up too much of my time right now.Empathy is what connects us as human beings, so its important to convey this on some level.3. Blame your responsibilitiesAs mentioned in the previous example, work is always a good excuse. In fact, very often its the truth. We all work a lot so its definitely not a stretch and it most likely wont raise any eyebrows.4. Turn it into a complimentSpin this into an opportunity to flatter the requester. Everyone loves a good ego boost.Im surprised youre asking me for help on this, I personally think you have far better taste than I do, but Im very flattered th at youre giving me the opportunity to help you.And thats when you drop the no bomb on them. Psychologically, youre softening the blow while bolstering their ego. Its a win-win.5. Say no without apologizingSaying thank you instead of sorry makes a world of difference. Do not apologize or say sorrythat will onlymakethe requester think youre either lying or you feel guiltyespecially if you keep emphasizing how sorry you are.If you say no in a positive manner, that will make it more likely that the requester will leave the interaction feeling positive and upbeat.So there ya have it. Make sure your no is quick and concise. Dont drag your answer out for too long, otherwise it will make you look bad. Its important to say no every now and again because sometimes we truly need the time for ourselves. Theres nothing wrong with that. Well conserve energy and time, and hopefully be able to help the next time around.SourceBusinessInsider